Clash daily – It has been 34 years of marriage, three children, two grandchildren, two homes and three jobs, and Mary and Joseph Peterson have had enough. The two Sacramento natives and college sweethearts have lived in California their entire lives. Now their lifelong stay in the Sunshine state is sadly coming to an end.
Mary Peterson, 56, and husband Joseph, 57, lament being only an estimated 250,000 people who are now leaving California annually, in comparison to the hordes more that are storming in (mainly illegally). They also lament not having fully experienced the hippie heyday of the state, being only in their pre-teen years at the time California began officially transforming from a self-sustaining state into the basket case of welfare–driven, tax and regulation-plagued, socialist, Iraq-sized, insane dung pile it is today.
With Joseph being the CEO of a 180-employee shipping company, and Mary, co-founder and vice president of Ancient Attributes, Inc., a 34-employee company that produces catheters for the elderly, the couple has decided it is time to close their businesses and move out of the state they once proudly called home. Two-hundred and four people will be left without jobs in their wake. But in leaving California the duo are now faced with a new dilemma: which state to ruin next?
“It’s like, so trippy,” said Mary Peterson, while packing her favorite 18-inch statue of Buddha she bought in Mexico in 2006 while their U-Haul truck hums in the driveway. “We’ve voted as progressively as possible in every election since our twenties, and yet things are worse than ever. It’s, like, so bizarre.”
The Petersons are not alone.
Dale and Rania Hussein-Scatman, who immigrated to Los Angeles from Iran in 1990, have voted strictly Democrat ever since. Now, like the Petersons, they are looking to move. “With all of the regulations, all of the bans on virtually everything, and the oppressive tax rates, we’re left with no choice,” said Mr. Hussein, while searching on-line for housing prospects in Texas.
Like the Petersons, the Hussein-Scatmans are not just eyeing Texas, but also Alabama, Louisiana, Arizona, Florida, Mississippi, and North Dakota — i.e. any state that has not yet been destroyed by the likes of none other than themselves, as Californians seek to flee the state they helped to ruin, only to relocate to a freer state and/or city they will ruin all over again, given time.
“I hear the tax rates and house prices are low (in North Dakota),” said Dale, Tuesday. “And they also still allow smoking in bars. Now that’s something we certainly have to move there to stop, all while pretending to be simple ’podunk’ residents who want to mind own business … Yes, we have to move there and introduce our values to that state. I think North Dakota may be the perfect fit for us.”
The Hussein-Scatmans, Petersons, and thousands of other residents fleeing California may not agree on everything, such as what amount of fine one should face if they do not recycle their glass, plastic, and paper goods ($200 vs. $300 per infraction), or what state income tax rate is suitable for a “family” of two or more making $60,000 or above (59% vs. 65%).
However they do agree on one thing: the California they helped ruin must be brought to other states, the “redder” the better, and that they must seek refuge from the dystopia they helped create and thus will no doubt leave their decedents clamoring to escape from again.
“We’re thinking Florida,” said Joseph Peterson. “We hear they don’t charge 10-cents per plastic shopping bag there to prevent dolphins from choking to death. How insensitive! We should move there and help completely turn their lives into nightmares, too, like in California.”
Added Peterson, “We have no choice – we must move to other locations and make them ‘blue’ too, so years from now people will have to flee from them as well. That’s what people like us do.”
But bringing about the ruination of one’s own existence from state to state can be quite a quandary, according to Dr. Nicholas Kimos, professor of Political Science and Psychology at Stanford University.
Although not implying that liberalism, and thereby liberal people, are/do suffer from a mental disorder, Dr. Kimos said that “blue state people” who can no longer tolerate living under the laws, and bans, fines, provisions, and ordinances they have imposed upon themselves, commonly feel nothing left to do but spread to the rest of America the very attitudes from which they are essentially fleeing to begin with.
Said Dr. Kimos to Duh Progressive Tuesday, “It’s not exactly like ‘locusts,’ but they’re pretty darn close. People like the Petersons move to a state, breed, and in time vote for people who raise their taxes and enact a litany of regulations and ridiculous bans. And after they come to suffer from the very politicians who enact these choking laws, they decide it’s too much for them, and so move elsewhere.”
Continued Dr. Kimos, “But they carry their values with them, and so, again, vote for the same horrid environments they created. It’s something we in the psychology field call ‘repetitive masochism.’ …They hate themselves for whatever reason and wish to project their self-hatred on others, so other humble unsuspecting people can be just as miserable as they.”
Added Dr. Kimos to Duh Progressive, as he produced a 12-ounce hammer from his office desk, “Oh, and by the way, could you please beat me over the head with this mercilessly? After all, I am from California.”
The preceding piece is satire.
Redneck's Revenge
Satire but obviously true to some large indeterminable degree.
Their views are above it all and not even in the dialog over what they have really promoted.
Makes sense the Second Amendment is under serious attack in the wake of financial crisis and demands for wealth redistribution. Whiteys wealth is all he has to keep himself segregated or be able to afford to flee. His Guns may be the only reason their has not been an open progressive coup in some States and the Fed seems to have many plans on the table that will enrages us.
Example; The Fed obviously wants and keeps our borders unsecured and wants us flooded with Hispanics and refugees from all over the globe. Fed knows terrorists and subversives also easily enter. Perfect solution is the DHS. If the Fed plans to go fascist this is damn brilliant! If not it is still unintentionally brilliant, just ask any dictator. And the perk is that all the immigrants that honestly just want a better life will drain the treasury and radically alter our demographics and create domestic tranquility. The chaos and hate is the result of conservatism clinging t the past.
Allowing illegals to seamlessly transition to legitimacy is a slap in the face to all the legal immigrants who spent $10k or more to do it the right way. Think about the last time you saw the Dead and paid $75 for your tickets: how did you feel when the hordes broke down the fence and stormed the venue? Even a free cheese sandwich & Heineken wouldn’t assuage the sense of your being raped.
You can tell the transition is moving forward because we’re not supposed to call them illegal any longer. Yeah, well, I’m calling bullshit on that one. Try crossing over the Mexican border from Guatemala and see what happens to you.
I kinda like having a California and an Illinois and a Massachusetts and a New York so liberals can torture each other ad finitum. I wouldn’t move there on a bet. And they probably think my state is a nothingburger - that’s fine. Don’t come here -- ever. We have poisonous spiders under all the toilet seats we like to slip visitors mickeys at the bar and harvest their organs. Nothing to see here, move on. Eat your Kashi and recycle your used toilet paper to the school lunch menu and wear 4-point harnesses when you’re on your riding mower. Fuck up each other’s lives to your heart’s content.
Just stay the fuck away from this state. Shit your own bed.
sure the border patrol has been completely incompetent like any other agency. The Supreme Court recently allowed them wide leeway to set up checkpoints anywhere within 100 miles of the US border. Problem is , this includes 12 entire states and 2 thirds of the US population. Listen the fact is the US Constitution is not living up to its original plan as written by handpicked aristocrats who desired a smooth exchange of lands and assets from british aristocrats to anerican aristocrats. they never intended to let the majority herd run rule over the rich, as well they should not.
The problem really goes back to that shithead Ted Kennedy whom I hope is burning in hell.
…. cause you know its racist for any nation’s citizenry to have a preference that their current ethnic majority is maintained …….. or at least it is in one nation….. its OK anywhere else on the planet.
…. but, you know ….. we’re more progressive than them.
….. Latin American immigrants are just lucky they have socialistic values, or else we’d have repealed the 14th amendment, and mined the borders a long time ago.
Border Patrol -- wasting MY money over 125 miles from the border just driving around. With what we have for border crossings (not many), you’d think they would stick to -- border crossings.
Have an online border agent friend in Texas. They are demoralized when one gets killed or thrown in prison because they are helpless to do anything about it. They feel like shit because they are hamstrung and demonized. This friend is damn depressed about it and sometimes he starts saying what he really thinks and backs off to change the subject. Plainly tells me he needs to be quiet.
Met a State employed architect that has worked in the private sector. He explained the hows and whys the State takes so long to build anything and the private sector gets things done faster. The whole government is stagnant and overburdened with its own top heavy bureaucracy and red tape and partisan gridlock. Executive orders and Judicial activism are the only way to do anything and the Repubs love it keeping their worthless hands clean and blaming the Dems for everything. They can’t even guarantee the unbelievably simple Second Amendment for us and we vote for these bastards.
We had a couple that lived on our street (briefly) from Portland. The best term for them was insufferable. Everything we did here was wrong, everything in Portland was perfect. When we informed them that they have a mulberry tree in their front yard (essentially a trash tree) they got all haughty about it. Apparently every tree had value, even the ones whose berries created indelible ink on the bottom of your shoes or the birds ate and painted the nearby houses indigo.
And our bars over-served and we didn’t have good light rail and no bike lanes or recycling. It was a wonder contact with us didn’t give them some sort of skin condition. Or maybe it did.
They finally moved back to Oz and as the neighborhood returned to normal, before they’d crossed the state line, the three of us had their mulberry tree down in the street, chopping it into firewood.
Maybe they had some financial interest moving in the house for a short time. Lot of ways to work this system or gain a preference that us independent morons are unaware of.
Thank G-d for harsh winters. Sorry Sunbelt, they’re all yours.